One Sunday in a desperate, almost rebellious frame of mind I went to church.
The struggle in my heart became almost unbearable.
I was so unhappy, something had to happen or I could not go on.
Dr. Stanley Jones was the preacher.
He read his text.
“Whoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it”.
My heart cried out, “Oh, no, not that! I do not want to lose my life.
"I want to live!"
"I want happiness and beautiful things and friends."
"I want gaiety and popularity and a good time."
"I want life!”
Having been born and brought up in a missionary family where spiritual values were more highly esteemed than any other thing, I kept my faith unquestioned until I went to college in America. There I was assailed by many doubts. Nothing could shake my belief in God. My parents fulfilled His conditions and were secure in His love and faithfulness, but this had nothing to do with me; I had to taste life; I had to find out for myself.
